To be clear, I am still in a period of removal. I find myself in a strange in-between place where I attend Zoom meetings and have a firm grasp on the reality that I have very specific job and role and expectations that come with that job and role. And, all at once, I am not actually here. Here is actually a hotel at some remove from that other reality. Here is hotel, once again in San Diego where, from my balcony, I can see the blinking lights of “El Cortez,” a condo across the street from my now deceased brother’s apartment. Here is a place where I am aware of a laundry list of things I need to do while in San Diego, and a place charged with emotions I cannot articulate. All at once, a part of me is elsewhere — unanswered emails; various academic projects demanding my attention; students rightly deserving coherent replies; a longing to simply be with my wife and child. This is it. This is life. In an all its complicated wonder.
I write this as something of explanation/apology/description of my current mood. As I said, my goal this year was to post something weekly. Since my brother passed — which hit me harder than I anticipated — things have been challenging. But, dear reader, next week I intend to write something substantive about The Book. Things are moving forward in positive ways. And despite all the complexities of my life at present, life does move on. And the work is valuable, of that I am sure.
As always, I humbly suggest you tell those you love why you love them, why specifically you are grateful for their presence in your life.
And get some well deserved rest.